Independence Day for Moms


Aaah, Independence Day.   Many of us will be traveling around with our kids and family, while others will enjoy some down time at home.  With July 4 right around the corner, I started to think about my own Independence Day.   Just like our forefathers, and I’m sure foremothers , declared their freedom from Great Britain, this is a time where as a  mother I can declare my own independence.  I can embrace the freedom from the grips of perfectionism and the need of the approval of others.  Freedom to become the person I want and the mother I  was…

Read the rest of "Independence Day for Moms" »

Sometimes They Win…


Recently, our preschooler has been throwing some fits in the morning while getting ready for school.  Since there was school testing this past week, I simply could not endure another meltdown in the morning.  So, I gathered all those parenting advice columns I read and all the family therapy knowledge I acquired  in grad school and came up with a plan:  rather than going to school she’d spend the entire day in her room.  While her Dad worked downstairs, by the end of the day I just knew she’d definitely wish she was in preschool and my motherhood mantra would…

Read the rest of "Sometimes They Win…" »

A New Definition of Motherhood…Are you In?


Recently I’ve been reading alot of research on motherhood for an upcoming book I’m co authoring.   In the midst of the studies the continued stress placed upon mothers is ever present.  No matter which road we go down, we are likely to step on the landmines of guilt, imperfection and even shame.   Recognizing the pitfalls in my own motherhood journey, the thought came to me that we need a new definition of motherhood.  Today’s ideals are largely based upon last generation’s dogma, methodolgy and culture.  Our mothers did not have children growing up with the internet.  They did…

Read the rest of "A New Definition of Motherhood…Are you In?" »

One Of The Secrets to Motherhood


Back in the day, when my then fiancee and I were attending premarital counseling, I remember asking our facilitator what she thought was the secret to becoming  a happy spouse.  Expecting the heavens to depart with words filled with depth of knowledge dating back to Confucious, I was surprised  at the simplicity of her answer.  Yet, looking back, I think it also could be termed one of the secrets to being a happy mother. As a therapist, I could offer the standard importance of self care, taking time for yourself and letting go of expectations.  And while all of these are…

Read the rest of "One Of The Secrets to Motherhood" »

The Comfort of Monotony


Some call it boredom, others call it routine.   Those times when things seem to be running on auto pilot without any disruption or detraction.   Everything looks and feels the same.   We wake up, send off our families, do our work for the day, orchestrate the nightly routine and then go to bed.    Monotony.  Yet,  perhaps these are the best times of motherhood.  No outstanding physical injuries.  No trips to the ER.  No major life crisis.   Just good old fashioned every day happenings of family life.   A time to breathe easier and enjoy this calm…

Read the rest of "The Comfort of Monotony" »