25 REASONS WHY I OWE MY MOTHER: (Happy Early Mother’s Day!)

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE:
“If you’re going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished
cleaning.”

2. My mother taught me RELIGION:
“You better pray that will come out of the carpet.”

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL:
“If you don’t straighten up, I’m going to knock you into the middle of next week!”�
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4. My mother taught me LOGIC:
“Because I said so … that’s why.”

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC:
” If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you’re not going to the store with me.”

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT:
“Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you’re in an accident.”
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7. My mother taught me IRONY:
“Keep crying and I’ll give you something to cry about.”

8. My mother taught me about the scientific process of OSMOSIS:
“Shut your mouth and eat your supper.”

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM:
“Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck?”

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA:
“You’ll sit there until all that spinach is gone.”

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER:
“This room of yours looks like a tornado went through it.”

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY:
“If I told you once, I’ve told you a million times: Don’t exaggerate!”

13. My mother taught me about the CIRCLE OF LIFE:
“I brought you into this world, and I can take you out.”

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION:
“Stop acting like your father!”

15. My mother taught me about ENVY:
“There are millions of less fortunate children in the world who don’t have the parents like you do.”
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16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION:
“Just wait until I get you home.”

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING:
“You are going to get it when you get home!”

18. My mother taught me a bout MEDICAL SCIENCE:

“If you don’t stop crossing your eyes, your face is going to freeze that way.”
19. My mother taught me about ESP:
“Put your sweater on. Don’t you think I know when you are cold?”

20. My mother taught me HUMOR:
“When that lawn mower cuts your toes off, don’t come running to me.”
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21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT:
“If you don’t eat your vegetables, you’ll never grow up.”

22. My mother taught me about GENETICS:
“You’re just like your father.”

23. My mother taught me about MY ROOTS:
“Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?”

24. My mother taught me WISDOM:
“When you get to be my age, you’ll understand. ”

25. And my favorite — My mother taught me about JUSTICE:
“One day you’ll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you.”

Happy Early Mother’s Day…..I have already said lots of these and my daughter is only 5:)