As a mom, it can be very easy to find our sense of worth in motherhood. Some may find it in their accomplishments as a mom. Others may find it in receiving the approval of other moms. Ironically, if you are like me, our worse critique usually comes from ourselves.
It is quite tempting to accept The Perfect Mother Club invitations, especially during those times when we are feeling less than perfect or needing others’ approval just to survive the next toddler or teenage meltdown. Truth is mothers are important simply because they exist. You are an essential part to the lives of your children regardless of how many cupcakes you make or accolades you receive from your friends.
Lie #5 The Perfect Mom must have The Perfect Life
You see her in the kitchen dressed to the nines with make up like a runway model. She has just finished gathering fresh oranges from the orchard to make juice that will pair nicely with the Belgian waffles and homemade syrup. Her family is cheerfully getting ready for the day gleefully listening to Vivaldi in the background. They enjoy their meal while discussing the daily events before leaving with 20 minutes to spare to get to school and work on time. They start to kiss her goodbye and then you wake to a sobbing little one that has been up all night with the flu and the cold nose of the family dog demanding to go out.
Have you ever had one of those dreams of the blissful Perfect Family only to have it interrupted by Reality? Yet, have you ever considered the stress it takes to “keep it all together?” We can all agree things such a cooking for your family, and looking and dressing well are great things. Yet, there is a difference in “needing” such things to feel significant and “preferring” them to give yourself a little boost.
Lie #6 If I can’t be The Perfect Mom, then I’d might as well not even try to be.
One of the biggest detriments our society and culture has graciously given to moms is a steady diet of The Perfect Mom Likes: what we should look like, dress like, talk like, act like, cook like, parent like, exercise like and what to do to be liked. As the scales get taller we may begin to feel smaller and our excitement is replaced by disappointment.
So what’s a mom to do? Become a Real Mom, not a perfect one. Read the books, watch the movies, and hang out with friends for enjoyment rather than self-judgment. Let’s have self-improvement goals but do not define ourselves by them. We can bravely embrace, and even laugh, at out mistakes to learn from them rather than getting stuck in them.
Become a Real Mom, whatever that looks like for you. For in the end, our children don’t want The Perfect Mom. They want someone to love them, encourage them and have fun with. Someone like you!