Recently I’ve been reading alot of research on motherhood for an upcoming book I’m co authoring. In the midst of the studies the continued stress placed upon mothers is ever present. No matter which road we go down, we are likely to step on the landmines of guilt, imperfection and even shame. Recognizing the pitfalls in my own motherhood journey, the thought came to me that we need a new definition of motherhood. Today’s ideals are largely based upon last generation’s dogma, methodolgy and culture. Our mothers did not have children growing up with the internet. They did not have the pressure to work in order to feel like a self fulfilled woman. They did not have to worry about the myriad of academic pressures facing many of our kids. Their time was not dealt like a deck of cards between school, work and sports. Their attention was not distracted by smart phones, ipods and computer tablets. Simply put, the challenges are different for us today then they were for them. So then it postulates that we would also need a new definition of motherhood. One that rises to the needs of today’s mother, without the guilt and shame trappings of yesteryear.
As a mom of the 21 century, “a good mother” is far more gray than the black and white demands of yesterday. We can work and still raise great kids. We can work without being selfish and we can stay home without being accused of being superior. Our kids enjoy so many more opportunities and we can do our best to juggle them and expect to drop the ball often. We can feed our kids non-organic food without having to use coupons every time we go the grocery store. Our kids can spend a day in their pajamas watching TV while we get some work done. And we can do all of this without guilt. Why? Because times are changing….mostly for the better…and so can the way we look at ourselves.
A new definition of Motherhood….I’m in…are you?