Back in the day, when my then fiancee and I were attending premarital counseling, I remember asking our facilitator what she thought was the secret to becoming a happy spouse. Expecting the heavens to depart with words filled with depth of knowledge dating back to Confucious, I was surprised at the simplicity of her answer. Yet, looking back, I think it also could be termed one of the secrets to being a happy mother.
As a therapist, I could offer the standard importance of self care, taking time for yourself and letting go of expectations. And while all of these are very valid points and necessary to anyone embarking on the journey of motherhood, they pale in comparison to this one nugget of truth shared nearly 18 years ago.
In fact, these 7 words have proven to prevent mommy meltdowns, provide necessary breathing space for proactivity instead of reactivity and have even made motherhood so much fun. Wanna know what they are?
My facilitator quietly looked at me and just said, “Remember not to take things too personally.”And there began my education on the importance of being able to separate my feelings from the solution.
As a mom, these words continue to ring true. When my daughter is having a meltdown, I can remember it’s not personal….it’s her age. If another mother says something that I consider hurtful, it’s about the conflict or her opinions…not me. When our youngest says she loves Daddy more than Mommy…it’s not personal.
Hey Alice….thanks for the tip.